Love, Life & Lilas Archives -

The Power of Words

Do affirmations really work?

For as long as I can remember, I believed in the power of words. As a writer, it’s no surprise that even as a child, I found comfort in writing my feelings out as poetry, sharing love with heartfelt cards to my family and friends and reading the words of authors I admired. I also loved quotes, collecting inspiration along the way. This was pre-instagram, when I had to look around or listen to the world I was in to notice a quote at a restaurant, in a movie or from a book.

It’s why as I work on my next novel, I started reading and reciting affirmations again. I remember the affirmations I recited in both pregnancies, for the health of my babies and births. I have noticed how I feel good after and even how that itself impacts my productivity and daily life, all coming into a full circle with the start of words that matter.

Historically, ancient texts from various religions all hold belief in the power of affirmations via prayer, and recent scientific studies demystify the notion that affirmations may not always ‘work’ as well.

So the next time you feel the stress or writing blocks eating away at you, here are 13 affirmations that you can incorporate into your life and bring with you anywhere, anytime:

I create my reality.
Abundance comes to me easily.
I trust myself.
Happiness is a choice, my choice.
The past is powerless, I hold power in this present moment.
I am loveable.
My inner wisdom guides me.
I feel appreciated by my family/friends.
I feel grounded.
I am accepting and forgiving.
I am ready for this change.
I attract positivity in my life.
I give and receive unconditional love.

Go on, try one out today. And don’t just say it, believe it. You got this.

Roses For Writers

Did you know that the Ayurvedic name for the rose is shatapatri, meaning “a hundred petals,” and the Latin name also means “a hundred petals?”

Even the name is poetic. Roses for writers can symbolize beauty, celebration, death and even emotions such as love. I have always felt like it is basically the queen of all flowers.

So I bought myself these roses today in an act of self love, as I step into my own power as a creative, into my craft of writing. And to just honor the beauty of being a woman.

On International Women’s Day, I thought about this flower and how strong and graceful it is both at once. The rich beauty of color, fragrance and intricate design, yet the thorns that protect and allow for her to thrive in the vastness of nature.

I also shared roses with the girlfriends that I walk with every week. It felt so good to honor these amazing women and their stories, paths, strengths and beauty like the rose. Women have been gathering for centuries and in the recent Blue Zone series on Netflix, I saw how female centenarians in Okinawa, Japan walk together daily, contributing to their longevity.

Today, I wanted to share a simple recipe for rose spray to make for yourself or a girlfriend for when you need a refresh to your day. In Ayurvedic medicine, rose helps skin radiate as an inner glow and is said to enhance all seven dhatus, the body tissues.

A few sprays of organic rose water is refreshing and makes for a great facial toner. I personally love this easy method I discovered years ago.

What you need:

2 cups red or pink fresh organic rose petals
2 cups distilled water
1 large pan (with a glass lid)
2 glass bowls
A Bag of ice
Sterile glass bottle for storage

Method:

Separate all the petal and gentle wash in cold water so they are clean
Place a bowl upside down in the middle of the pan
Place all the petals and water around the bowl and then place the second bowl facing up on top of the first bowl
Cover the pan with the lid upside down and bring the water to a gentle simmer
Place a bag of ice on top of the lid
The steam water will collect in the bowl.
Continue the process until the petals have gone limp and lost all their colour
You can life the lid and allow the water to accumulate
Cools the water and store in your bottle (keep in a cool place like the refrigerator)

Another great use of any leftover rose petals to add them to your bath (my favorite!) and allow the fragrance to calm your mind especially if you are in need of channeling your clear creative energy.

Ingesting rose as a tea opens the heart.

You can also purchase rose tea or make your own: To prepare, gently pour 8oz of almost boiled water over 1-2 tsp. of dried rose petals. Cover & steep for 3-5 minutes. Strain petals from tea & allow to cool slightly. I like to have some rose tea when I am writing something heartfelt and also enjoy it alongside a friend or soul sister 😉

My Favorite Self Care Massage

When our daughter was born years ago, my husband and I started a precious daily tradition that makes us smile to this day.

We would dim the lights, light a lavender oil lamp, turn on some relaxing music – and give her a special oil massage known in Ayurveda as the ‘Abhyanga’. Ayurveda is the sister science to yoga from ancient India and the medicine that cures Asya if you’ve read For My Sister.

The running joke was that our baby girl was going to the spa every day. But the benefits were anything but a joke: we quickly noticed remarkable changes in her sleep quality and digestion.

Why you’ll want to share Abhyanga with your children, partner, and your loved ones

According to Maharishi Ayurveda, the benefits of the Abhyanga oil massage include:

Enhancing the circulatory and respiratory system by bringing nourishing blood to all cells
Improvement of digestion
Improvement of muscle tone
Relief from muscle tension
Better quality of sleep
Deep relaxation
A special connection between giver and recipient

Abhyanga is perfect for the cold winter months, providing circulation and nourishment to the body. And you can even perform it on yourself.

Abhyanga is versatile: choose your favorite oil

Here are some options:

Coconut Oil: contains antibacterial and antiseptic properties, which helps prevent skin infections. It’s also a natural sunscreen.
Almond Oil: an excellent emollient, alleviates dry skin and can help soothing, itching and inflammations caused by eczema and dermatitis (but avoid if you have nut allergies).
Mustard Oil: beneficial in prevention of skin infections, but beware it is a little pungent.
Peppermint Oil: soothes the Doshas and improves the flow of internal energy.
Ghee: The core of Ayurveda lies in this purified butter. So healing and nourishing!
Sesame Oil: good for balancing skin texture, plus helps sleep patterns.
Jojoba Oil: Light and mild and great for if you are concerned about allergy or irritations.
Olive Oil: research says not to use it on young babies since it strips the delicate skin barrier, however many midwives suggest it.
Grapeseed Oil: Some people use this as well, but there isn’t much nutrient value for massage.
Avocado Oil: great for itchy skin, mild and nourishing, semi-fatty and rich in lecithin and vitamins, including A, B, and D.
Sunflower Oil: contains linoleic acid, and vitamin A, D and E. Helps with bruising.

How to perform Abhyanga

Ideally, you want to do this massage after a bath or before sleep. And you should avoid it during a high fever.

Also, be sure the room is comfortable, keep it warm but not too hot, and even add relaxing elements like calming energy stones and dim lights.

Use a squeeze bottle with the oil of your choice, or place it in a small bowl. Take the small bowl or squeeze bottle and put it in a larger bowl of hot water to warm the oil slightly. Be sure it is not too hot by testing it prior to using.

Have your recipient lay comfortably on a blanket or towel, on a massage table or bed.

You can start from the head and move down to the feet or opposite. You can give a gentle massage to the scalp on infants, but be mindful of the Fontanelle areas, and always avoid the eyes.

For adults, the scalp massage feels amazing and is incredibly relaxing.

Use long strokes for the arms and legs and circular strokes for the joints, back, chest and abdomen. For the stomach, do clockwise circles to follow the intestines. Always spend extra time on the feet since this can aid in sound sleep and relaxation.

I also go to local ayurvedic practioners to receive this massage once a month. Making time for my self care= more creativity as a writer! Self care nourishes my soul to be able to write from my soul.

Take time for yourself and enjoy your massage and all the benefits that come with it 🙂

Note, this article also appears at The Natural Law Blog.

Why I Write For Social Change

Note: A version of this article first appeared in Brown Girl Magazine.

As a first-generation South Asian American girl, I remember questioning ways my culture didn’t fit into the worldview my parents were raising me in.

“So why do women need to serve men their dinner first? Can’t we all just eat and enjoy together?”
“Why would people ever drown their infant girls in other countries?”

My mother, aunties and the strong South Asian women around me often understood these questions. Yes, it is unfair. Yes, it‘s not right. It’s why we are raising you here, beti.

The sacrifices my parents made, like so many immigrants who came to America on the cusp of the Civil Rights Movement in the ’70s, are what awarded me and many of my fellow brown first-generation sisters the freedom to question openly. To aim high.

It is why as a writer, I find it important to rise up and support those who are speaking up and advocating for many girls that are just like me; just like my own daughter.

During the research of my upcoming debut novel, For My Sister, I interviewed a number of nonprofits such as Oasis India, O.U.R. Rescue and Child Rights and You that inspired me. I saw their driving efforts to meet the needs of fulfilling girls rights in India and at a global level.

Did you know that up to 10 million girls will be at risk of child marriage and girls are primarily victims of sexual exploitation as 72% of detected girl victims globally?

For My Sister is a novel that follows the journey of light and darkness with Amla and Asya: twin sisters trafficked into India’s notorious Sonagachi district. Can the power of poetry, mindfulness, and sisterly love bring them back home and to each other?

What I learned is that while fiction, the story of Amla and Asya is all too real.

Sasha K. Taylor, child marriage survivor and advocate, says,

“Bravo! Puja Shah writes an emotional issues-focused fictional novel centered on the story of twin sisters Amla and Asya, whose attempt to escape a child marriage fails and they end up being trafficked anyway. The reader will find themselves vested in both sisters’ lives while gaining insights into the realities our fictional sisters endure — realities millions of real girls across the globe face every day. Puja Shah is precisely the fiction writer the literary world and global readers need to transcend to an empathetic place to finally begin understanding the plight of women and girls across the globe who are sexually exploited and abused, forced into unwanted marriages, and trafficked, by those they may trust the most… It is happening right now, as you finish reading this sentence.”

So often as artists, we express ourselves through the medium that we are called to. For me, this was writing. What started as a story, became a deeper calling for me. A cry for social change. A commitment to awareness.

So why write for social change?

1) There is a purpose behind your vision.

Writing for social change doesn’t mean you will change the world overnight, but it adds to the larger collective efforts toward social justice by helping those who have been second-class citizens of the world to feel validated and understood. Even if you are not an expert on the topic you feel called to share about, align with the causes that are doing the work on it. Like Gandhi believed, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

2) Your self-expression contributes to meaningful conversation.

You’re generating thoughts for important discussion around social issues. As Roxanne Gay states in her course on social change, “when your work starts this conversation, you are setting the framework for productive cultural critique.” Discussions are where questions like the ones I had as a young girl can arise. There is a sense of inquisition when someone is confronted with something that does not feel right. What isn’t working? What isn’t fair? Who is being marginalized? What do we need to understand to elevate society as a whole?

3) You are giving voice to those who may not be able to express themselves.

This is the heart of why I wrote my novel. When you share a story of someone whose experience has not been heard, you are providing a place for others to understand this experience.

4) It comes down to compassion.

Your work is the vehicle of compassion that can bring forth awareness which can lead to change. As a yoga and meditation instructor, this inner place of compassion is one that reminds me we are not all that different. The girls across the world that I write about, could love the same music as my best friend, and have dreams like my sister. So share your work for them. It’s why I did…for my sister.

“For My Sister is a novel with a social conscience illuminating the epidemic of human trafficking. It will break your heart, open your soul, and ignite a fire within to become part of the solution. Share it far and wide with all of your sisters.” — Arielle Ford, International bestselling author of The Soulmate Secret

Want to learn tips on how to write for social change? Join me on Dec. 5th 2022 at 7 pm pst for a special zoom class on Writing For Social Change. Register here.

The Vinyasa of Poetry

The thing about poetry is its fluidity, its flow, it’s beauty to adapt to feeling and sound. To external and internal environments, occurrences, places, beings. I stepped away from the mic for awhile, forgotten what it felt like to be in my poetry.

But I’m back! Check it out, my newest poem, “Whatchya know ’bout that?” I explore my identity as a a first generation and Cali transplant and how freedom of expression is meant to join not divide.

TAGS:fiction author poet poetry psnamaste spoken word vinyasa writer

13 Powerful Ideas For Your Journaling Practice

I love journaling. For as long as I can remember, I have kept a journal. It was the meditation I practiced before I knew what meditation was. You don’t have to be an amazing writer to keep a journal. Journaling is for everyone. And it’s been proven to help increase clarity, improve perspective and reduce stress.

The ancients also tell stories of journaling and its healing effects. The ancient Hindu ritual of “maha vasana daha tantra” describes writing down problems and bringing them from the subconscious into the external mind and then during the ritual, releasing the suppressed emotions.

“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.”
~ Shakti Gawain

And then there’s the science. According to The American Psychological Association, regular journaling strengthens immune cells, called T-lymphocytes.

The research also shows that the act of writing accesses your left brain, which is analytical and rational. While your left brain is occupied, your right brain is free to create, intuit and feel. In sum, writing removes mental blocks and allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself, others and the world around you.

Here are 13 ideas to get the most out of your journaling practice:

1. Draw or paint. Sometimes we don’t have words for what we are feeling and can begin to let the emotion out in the form of artwork.

2. For five to ten minutes just start writing as a “stream of consciousness.” Remember, don’t edit your thoughts or feelings and don’t bother to correct your grammar. Don’t censor your thoughts. Just go.

3. Talk to your inner child by writing his/her thoughts with your subdominant hand. Then respond back with your dominant hand. Notice what you find and what comes up.

4. Ask yourself key questions and then answer them from an open space, perhaps after a meditation. Are you right where you want to be? With work, your relationships, where you live?

5. Gratitude. Make a list of a few things you appreciate every day. Use positive quotes you find that uplift you and put them in your journal.

6. Just write about presence. Write about the present moment and where you are, what you feel, do, see, think… TODAY.

7. Snap a picture of a place/person/nature object that makes you feel something. Put it in your journal and write about it. Connect to your surroundings, especially the environment.

8. Write about when you succeed every week. Think of each success and log it in your journal for future inspiration.

9. Write as you play music that inspires you or moves you deeply. Songs may even trigger memories, let the stream of feelings and thought flow through you.

10. Write in third person if there is something that is hard to get out, that you struggle with, or that you find difficult to share even with yourself.

11. Write letters to people you cannot express what you feel to. This could be deceased relatives, your partner, your children, a co-worker. Keep them in your journal as you reflect on what you learned from your thoughts on the situation with them, so when you approach this person to talk, you feel more clarity or you just have a much needed emotional release in your journal.

12. We all have dark days, black moods, and anxious feelings. Use your journal to explore this darkness. You will actually find your inner light when you do.

13. Lastly, pause and breathe. Write down questions you have about life or concerns you feel then take a deep breath and listen for a response from your Higher Self. Let yourself write automatically. If you don’t get an answer right away, look for signs during the day and record them. This is your intuition speaking.

TAGS:fiction author journaling meditation project yourself writer

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Writing in the Desert

Back in December, I took a trip out to the desert to welcome in my birthday, a celebration of my fourth decade.

2020 was the year I spent finishing my novel and 2021 was the year I spent editing and refining it to query agents and publishers. While awaiting a contract from a publisher, I went off to give myself a much needed retreat.

I had come across Two Bunch Palms years ago, in search of a quiet place to unwind, immerse in healing water and have healthy food options. As a busy mom, I didn’t get to go back then, but always knew I would. And even with a rainy day, some brisk winter mornings and evenings, I was so glad I made the time to go.

Writers often want to get away to get creative, it’s where the idea of the secluded writing cabin in the forest comes from, (I am working on manifesting that one). Once secluded in nature, we remove ourselves from all stimulation and distraction to be able to create. Create worlds of words and write from our heart. These are the things that happen when we give ourselves the time and space to do so. As a mother of young ones, this can be especially tricky to listen to even when I know I need it the most.

I set an intention before leaving. After such intense editing and querying all year, I wanted to write and relax, and write without an outcome. Poetry, affirmations, journaling, writing about nature. All those things sounded perfect. When I arrived to Two Bunch, I learned that the best place for me to do so was in the hot spring pools. The water felt magical each morning and invited me to open up.

My evening dinners were cozy by the fire in the restaurant, where I had brought some clean wine my girlfriend gifted me to enjoy one night with their amazing menu options, (the eggplant is my favorite and they also have organic-no headache the next day wine on their beverage menu if you desire). Eating solo can be really relaxing and I was not used to such a luxury. At home, my meals consisted of getting dinner on the table right after activities so HW and bedtime routine can be completed on time. Here, I was able to eat slowly, enjoy each bite and sip and watch the fire, people around me and even listen to the music playing in the background with interest.

The property itself has cute areas to retreat to from your room. My favorite was the small labyrinth. If the weather was warmer when I went, I would have also spent time by the small lake where there were plenty of hammocks. The yoga dome was across my room and housed evening yoga that I went to on a rainy day.

I also loved the other classes in the glass house such as angel cards, tarot, intuitive painting and even a sage cleanse. On the morning after my angel card reading, I went into the water and closed my eyes to soak in what was said. Then I opened my eyes, looked up and saw this happen in the sky…just a minute apart.

In the desert, there are messages everywhere, we just have to look and listen. I can’t wait to go back!

TAGS:book deal desert fiction author hot springs two bunch palms writer writing